A MILLION MILES AWAY

, YOUR SIGNAL IN THE DISTANCE.......my brain or what is left of it has taken on a new role in the grand scheme of Phil , never having been the strong , trusted leader type , but it certainly had opinions and its own way of doing things . these days it is an interpreter , having lost many of the old lines of communication it searches for new signals , communiques from the alien limbs it does not recognise once a quick and efficient system , easy to understand , to read., what used to be bursts of brain code each carrying hundreds of pieces of info have become the blasted static of frantic random bursts , hundreds of them each thread of which is thrumming with an irritating urgency pulling the poor damaged brain in hundreds of different directions at the same time, maddening to experience , it teases all of my nerve endings at once, irritating them into waves of pain . angry pain that assaults the dilapidated brain relentlessly , night and day , every second of every hour of every day the offending leg , which is gaining momentum and support in it's long campaign , enlisting both the left arm and even my face in the war effort . and it leaves me exhausted , each assault taking a toll on my feeble attempts at fortification . my enemy , the foe that seems intent on my destruction is my own body , angry I'm guessing at the idiot who's bad decisions almost killed us all and that , my friends , that very fact is what will breach my defences first, the knowledge that the determination and strength I count on to build the walls is being used to batter them does terrible damage , my emotional state is suffering wounds of my own doing , my limbs move and react to commands I cannot hear , treachery from within. some radical faction has seized control of my remaining brain and it's spies know my weaknesses well. as I type , waves of overwhelming sensation assault me from the leg , as tiring as pain, they gain support on my left side as they march northward , yes I just said that I am getting too much feeling from my paralyzed leg , I know how that sounds but it reinforces the belief that has been anchored in my mind for a year. I AM NO LONGER ME !!! and so should we meet along our paths , forgive me if I act oddly , if I talk to my limbs or yell at my brain . Phil still lives here but he's not managing the place , just another tenant , trying to avoid eviction. now I'm heading down to the lobby to see who's names are on the other mailboxes... later Phil.