.............I I awoke on this lovely morning (and that is my thankful moment today) to alarm central . the klaxons are sounding , red lights flashing, authoritative voice on the PA saying "red alert , spasm imminent!!!"a feeling I call trigger mode, anything could do it , a cough, a sneeze , sudden movement , I guess a morning jog is out of the question. my anxiey level is dialled up to 11 and my fellow survivors Ibring this panicky , twitchy , wide eyed nervous mess before you now , squinting madly at the keyboard as his right index finger , methodically pokes these wild and disjointed thoughts out of his damaged head , my apologies! I didn't intend to join you in this state today but as I invested all of my worry andworst case scenario planning in my sleep time through the night , I essentially just said I spent the entire night obsessingly panicking over things I cannot control , only to wake up surprised I'm a mess .
I am now , having said that putting aside an appropriate amount of time to feel stupid later today, my reason for anxiousness is the upcoming wedding of my second son Matt and his wonderful fiance Katie , if I wake up feeling this way in my own bed , beside my guardian angel Dar , in familiar circumstances and under the watchful eye of the gargoyle like Hatfield the caregiving cat , how will I do that far from home ? in an unfamiliar place under the pressure of new place , new people? will I be able to go without embarrassing my loved ones , ?? can I eat a meal without most of it ending up on my chest and lap? how will I be able to stand at a podium?. I go into spasms in my left thigh sitting for 10 minutes on a toilet or shower chair , how will I do on the road for 3 or 4 hours?and how much extra stress will my new needs put on the people I love?I'm gonna call this Bull in a china shop mode from now on. my beautiful Dar has been stressing about all of this for a while , me too and she has procured a 7 passenger van for us all so at least when I embarrass myself it should be while surrounded by some of my favorite folks , I'll have to use my antique manual wheelchair (my power ride is too big too heavy) it's going to be a Rowdy Redneck Roadtrip see ya on the road...Phil
About Us
- phil
- When one partner suffers a stroke; life is turned upside down, but when you have both partners who have been struck with a serious illness; it can be a devastating blow I was the first one at 47 years of age to suffer with what doctors call a series of thunderclap migraines which resulted in a bleed on the right side of my brain a Cerebral Hemorrhage). After a long series of tests, MRI's, and CT scans, the doctors referred to my "stroke" as "Call Fleming Syndrome"; The date was November 19, 2011. I will never forget that day. Then on July 29, 2014 Phil at 53 was struck down with a massive stroke which resulted in a bleed in the (Basal Ganglia) this was a day that dampened what was the beginning of a joyous summer ;( we had two sons marry Nick in June and Cory in July) This blog voices Phil's experiences on learning to live and walk again. We hope to share our story , experiences, frustrations, and how we have had to struggle, but at the same time still find joy in being together and being alive will help others not only find hope but better understand what a stroke is and steps to take to help avoid one. Each day we find new reasons to get up and do it all again.
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