PATIENCE

 .................I am a royal pain in the ass as a patient , oh sure I was polite , respectful (usually) and I tried to be up for anything , but sarcastic , hell yes , only when I'm awake .

 I started cataloguing smart ass comebacks back in 2011 when my angelic partner suffered her bleed and wound up in St.Michael's hospital in Toronto , I heard them ask several times a day , every day "do you know what year it is? who is primeminister? what month is it ? and I had a comment ready each time thinking "if I was in here" , not realizing that I would be a short time later.

I watched as my darling became upset at her attempt during an assessment in the drawing of a clock indicating the time " ten to 12 , it was a rough drawing and she beat herself up a bit over it , when it came time for my draw a clock assessment I drew a box with 11:50 inside "mine's digital"I announced I was told I had to try to draw a regular clock and I said "what the hell kinda test is that ? , you realize there's one in every room in this building ?" I looked up on the wall and copied it saying "if it was 11:50 right now this would be a total waste of time!" yup I was pretty popular

 I recall an assessment with a speech therapist where she said "I will show you some pictures of animals and you will name them" , my response was "what ? like proper names? let's call the gorilla Timmy and that giraffe looks like a Frank"! , the therapist called me a smartass (mission accomplished!) once while waiting at the main hospital doors for my wife's bus to arrive I was asked "what are you doing here dear ?" "do you know what year it is ?" I explained that I was watching for Dar's bus and the woman said well here comes a bus now , I looked up and said "that's not it !" . "well how do you know that ?" I was asked I said "jesus ! , this is like being on Jeopardy , it's not her bus cause it came from the wrong direction also it is too early , that bus came in off highway 11N , I dont live up there , and at this hour, I pointed at the clock (one in every room remember?) , the route from my home extends into other areas on the hour ( not the way I'd do it! the route is not efficient and I'll tell you why !, I finished saying , "so in answer to your question Mr.Trebek , I am sitting here auditing 2 of the city's transit routes in my head .

 WHAT YEAR DO YOU THINK IT IS ???"i COULD HEAR THE OLD pHIL sitting at Dar's Toronto bedside giving a loud cheer at my response , I also remember refering during one assessment to a picture of a rino as a "fucktopotomus ! cant recall why I said that . there was an endless line of people wanting to scan my stupid paper wrist band while asking my name and date of birth (info displayed on the over 30 bands they attached to me during my stay , the scanner rarely worked so""are you Phil Mccoy ?" "I was when I checked in!" "were you born on Apr,30 , yes I was , remember it well , a Tuesday around 7:30 in the evening!" . for me sarcasm and what I thought of as wit built a bridge to the Phil I remembered made me feel like me and who is better to show you how to cope ?you !! , and so my dear fellow strokeland inhabitants , keep on coping and when we one day meet somewhere on this pitted blasted expanse , forgive me if I ask "do you know what year it is ???" , I'm just waiting for the response smile emoticon...Phil (like the bracelet says!)