DEVOTION

 ...............Every morning , my first task is to find something to be thankful for , most days my thoughts turn to the beautiful soul on my left, my wonderful Dar who is always at my side , always has my back , who takes better care of me than I ever did, she does all of this while making me feel loved and special, and important in a world that cant see past a wheelchair. the old Phil would absolutely lose his shit if he was spoken to in the same , too loud , look the other way , condescending manner that new Phil barely tolerates. I need Dar , count on her , rely on herl give for her, yesterday we went on a shopping excursion in our area , pick up some things we need , look around etc. we did this without pre charging my chair completely , which is unusual for us , the chair is a valuable pack horse to have along , a great place to hang bags etc.(the old pack horse is no help these days , he's in a wheelchair ). Well into our outing the battery indicator dipped very low and the chair slowed considerably and the last leg of the journey happened with my tough little , tired , always overworked wife pushing me and a 300 plus pound chair, I have never felt so helpless or useless the chair and I are heavy enough without all the shopping bags and stuff hanging from it , luckily I live on a hill, I can hear your inner voices muttering "what a genius !" and the downhill grade took just enough work off of the batteries tolet me propel to our driveway , which is ("genius") uphill. we made it to the base of my ramp and the load was too heavy for DarI had to get out and do a jerky , ugly walk up the ramp holding the fence like it was a lifeboat . now my brain injury has left me barely able to handle stress and tension and as soon as the batteries showed being that low I began to panic . my angel just smiled reassuringly and told me it would be ok , it always is when I am with her, I'm a very lucky man , for a guy that has been caught in a shit tsunami for the past year and Dar's love , devotion and wonderfully huge heart keep me going I am now sitting here , chair fully charged ("I heard that !")watching my little fireball change the bedsheets , prepare breakfast , make coffe and amuse the cat with catnip bubbles , I am thankful today because of her , in this nice , homey, functional space because of her , upright and breathing and typing because of her and learning the wonders of this kind of love with the new brain because of her , I tell people regularly not to waste their time asking me how I'm doing , if you see me and I'm with my Dar , you already know , gotta go , I need this hand for coffe drinking see ya in strokeland survivors..Phil