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When one partner suffers a stroke; life is turned upside down, but when you have both partners who have been struck with a serious illness; it can be a devastating blow I was the first one at 47 years of age to suffer with what doctors call a series of thunderclap migraines which resulted in a bleed on the right side of my brain a Cerebral Hemorrhage). After a long series of tests, MRI's, and CT scans, the doctors referred to my "stroke" as "Call Fleming Syndrome"; The date was November 19, 2011. I will never forget that day. Then on July 29, 2014 Phil at 53 was struck down with a massive stroke which resulted in a bleed in the (Basal Ganglia) this was a day that dampened what was the beginning of a joyous summer ;( we had two sons marry Nick in June and Cory in July) This blog voices Phil's experiences on learning to live and walk again. We hope to share our story , experiences, frustrations, and how we have had to struggle, but at the same time still find joy in being together and being alive will help others not only find hope but better understand what a stroke is and steps to take to help avoid one. Each day we find new reasons to get up and do it all again.

Friday, 26 June 2015

Fear & Survival of The Fittest

June 22/2015


I never plan these little jaunts into my devastated brain landscape ahead of time ; I just go with what's there when I awake each day .  Today’s subject is fear . I've said recently that one of the keys of survival is to be available and ready to rock when confronted with challenges like physio therapy, it is so important to rise to the challenge, take some control over your recovery, having said that I will chat about the trepidation that travels along side of challenge. 

I have a bi-weekly physio appointment today, I will most likely do things I have done before, sit to stands, some walking with my quad cane in the hospital hallway and I have awakened afraid. 

What if I can't do it? If I fall? All of the amazing amount of multi-tasking involved in the act of walking is weighing heavily on me today. Now these are things I can do. Can do well. I meet the expectations that I should , have several times , it doesn't help things knowing that it is the act that seems to prompt therapists to throw new wrinkles my way , "lets walk on the grass !" , "go outside" , "without the cane!!" and I know that I have my own expectations to overcome , my own doubts. 

I'm not as worried about not meeting the expectations of others as I am having to realize I have reached the full extent of my rehabilitation . I am terrified of that moment . so I'm gonna go to physio , gonna grab onto my recovery and make it my bitch !I'll be a rock star in that hallway for my sanity , for all of the therapists hard work , for my beautiful Dar who has been present for every step I've taken , for my family and because I have gone and on and on about the importance of being a part of your recovery , for you my dear survivors , for everyone who is even more scared than I am .

 So get up off your ass Phil , get involved ! Be strong, for them for her and especially for you. I don’t want to fail but I'd rather pick myself back up (done that a few times already) than, wonder if I could have. The voices in my head are all shouting at once, with distinctly different character voices like a Pixar movie, "You can't back down after telling folks they have to try!" "c'mon be a man!!!”, "you have to be strong for Dar she was always strong for you!!!!!”, "the parabus is already arranged!""They’re expecting you, it would be rude!" (damned Canadian voice”. 

since I moved to Stroke town, my life has always been like this, with fear and indecision trying to steer the ship and the old captain who was not afraid and made decisions seems to have fallen overboard, well he may be off somewhere but stubborn pride still has a room here and that voice is yelling "shut the hell up everyone, we're going and we're going to nail it!”Tomorrow’s post is either going to be triumphant as hell or pretty sheepish, either way I have to try. I'm going to walk again! , it probably won’t be pretty, I won’t be doing a jeans commercial, but the first and most important step is to get outa bed and try and I still have a whole room full of try in here, so be tough, do it for you, stop looking for the old you and give the new guy a kick in the ass, do it to shut up the Pixar voices, someday we can both say "I did it!" as we walk together.... GET UP....! Phil

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