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When one partner suffers a stroke; life is turned upside down, but when you have both partners who have been struck with a serious illness; it can be a devastating blow I was the first one at 47 years of age to suffer with what doctors call a series of thunderclap migraines which resulted in a bleed on the right side of my brain a Cerebral Hemorrhage). After a long series of tests, MRI's, and CT scans, the doctors referred to my "stroke" as "Call Fleming Syndrome"; The date was November 19, 2011. I will never forget that day. Then on July 29, 2014 Phil at 53 was struck down with a massive stroke which resulted in a bleed in the (Basal Ganglia) this was a day that dampened what was the beginning of a joyous summer ;( we had two sons marry Nick in June and Cory in July) This blog voices Phil's experiences on learning to live and walk again. We hope to share our story , experiences, frustrations, and how we have had to struggle, but at the same time still find joy in being together and being alive will help others not only find hope but better understand what a stroke is and steps to take to help avoid one. Each day we find new reasons to get up and do it all again.

Friday, 26 June 2015

High Maintenance

June 7 at 10:43am · 
believe it or not , I have never adhered to a very detailed beauty regime; in fact , now that my morning rituals involve my angelic wife and a rotating staff of support workers I am as "high maintenance " as I have ever been. for me the standard answers to the question "how do you want your hair cut ?" were "shorter" or "I don't care I don't have to look at it" as I have ranted previously , at some point mid-stroke , some parts of myself , my personality, my mental being if you will , left the building , I do not really feel complete anymore .

 As for the reason I mention my hair. I don't really look like me anymore either. during my 5 month incarceration at the hospital I rarely encountered a mirror , when I did I saw a heavily bearded , wide eyed , prisoner of war looking dude , now as I shave myself in the morning I am staring at a skinny wide eyed prisoner of war looking dude . I am about 60 lbs(it's too early for kgs sorry ) lighter than my pre stroke incarnation , I have adopted a no thank you hair cutting policy and , when you couple my feelings of personality abandonment with my new appearance it is devastating to one's self image and identity . on a few occasions I have found the old tunnel leading to the sarcasm region of my brain and have been as quick with a well sharpened insult as ever , upon meeting an acquaintance at the local library when he said "I'm surprised to see you here" I quickly replied "you're surprised ? I didn't think you could read " , so I guess that are of my brain just suffered a cave in and was not lost as I'd thought and so, I sit here typing with my one finger , with an endless parade of stroke related commercials and news stories filling the back ground from the TV.

 I go over this and realize that as I hunt and peck my way through this I am saying to you dear survivor that the things that you feel you have lost are just buried , they're not where you left them but they aren't gone , a fact that I am realizing as I slowly type , I now have to turn around and tell Dar once again that she was right about my condition and the therapeutic value of writing about it , she is going get a swelled head soon , perhaps she should write about it.... I will be back to humiliate myself further tomorrow Phil





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